2 posts tagged “friendship”

Several years ago I took some courses through Continuing Ed on Microsoft Access.  I needed it for my job.  The teacher, Michael, was a software designer so I took his business card.  Several months later I was needing a little more knowledge in design mode of Access, so I got his card out and gave him a call.  We struck up some interesting conversations about spirituality, Christianity, and yoga.  He is a yoga instructor as well.  He was searching spiritually.  He was a professed 'recovering Catholic'.  He even joined a little bible study I was leading.  I invited him saying something like you are searching spiritually so why not check out Jesus?  I was leading a group on the study of the life of Jesus in chronological order.  Started it the first of the year and finished it up just after Easter.  After that study the group wanted to continue so we also studied Acts and Romans also.  We ended up becoming friends.  He is also the same one who was my rollerblade buddy.  He was fun to be with. During that time he started attending church and told me he said the 'sinners prayer' with a few people in his small group. 

We liked to go out for breakfast on the weekends and there was one breakfast that he both surprised and troubled me.  He took my hand into his trembling hand and he said that he wanted to marry me.

I was cautious about the relationship.  I needed to see real fruit and needed some time to go by before I believed his walk with Jesus was genuine.    

But he started doubting that what happened in small group was real.  He started thinking that perhaps he was pressured into it.  During his time of doubting I encouraged him in looking to Christ and if he believed in Jesus he was truly saved.  I also told him that possibly the pressure he had felt was Jesus drawing him.  He said he had the rapid heart beat and everything. 

Our lives began to drift apart and I saw where his walk was not continuing on in Christ.  I was very sad.  But I was also relieved that I didn't enter into a relationship with him as more than friends.  It really wasn't difficult, though, for me to not enter into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because I enjoyed him simply as a friend.  But I wanted to be open to the possiblity if I thought the Lord was bringing us together to be a couple.

Even though we went our separate ways he would make a point of getting together with me maybe once a quarter or so.  We'd have dinner, some wine, and talk about everything under the sun.  

He has a girlfriend now and they have recently bought a condo together up in the big city.  He's had a stressful two years.  He's had a stalker to contend with who was a former Yoga student.  He has studied much about this subject since and he says it is more common than anyone knows. 

He stopped by my house last month and we went for a long walk and ended up at a fun Mexican restaurant for dinner but not before stopping by a Starbucks for a latte and further conversation.   I loaned him the movie "End of the Spear" before he left.  

By the way, his girlfriend and I have met and she is cool with Michael spending time with me.  She has guy friends as well.  They want to invite me up to their new place sometime.   

He stopped by yesterday evening to return the movie.  He is spending a few days in town doing some work and packing the rest of his stuff to finish the move up to Indy.  We talked awhile and this time it was different.  I really don't know if he will desire to stay in contact as much now.  Seems he has drawn the line on Christianity.  He has no Christian friends except me.  He is making new friends with all his girlfriends friends.  She is a massage therapist and he is a software developer/massage therapist/yoga instructor.  They are into all kinds of group therapies.  He's thinking about going into social work.  Community is very important to him.     

I pray the Lord never give up on him and that he will be drawn to the One and Only, Jesus Christ, Lover of his soul.

On a personal note, last night, near the end of our time together, I felt the awful lonliness of being so lonely when with another person when the connection is lost.  I hate that feeling. 

I've given myself a couple assignments in the last month or so.  One is to get back into church.   And the second is to develop more friendships.  I believe these two assignments were birthed by God.  I say this because MY two plans were to move South and possibly also start Seminary (and I was praying that the Seminary would be in the South *laughing*)   Well, we can make our plans but God directs our steps.  I see the wisdom .... first things first.  And I also know that I may never move South and may never go to Seminary.  I'm at a point where I'd like that direct telephone line to God... "Hello, Father?  Just tell me plainly what you want me to do, where you want me to go and I'll do it!.... just not Alaska, okay?  ** smile ** " 

This summer I attended a conference workshop on Friendship which gave me some things to think about and tools to work with.  Since this conference I have prayed for some healthy friendships with Christian women and have asked the Lord to help me recognize who He was bringing into my life. 

Right now, there are 5 women who could be very good friends if I will allow it.  God is good!  With each of these women I already have a history of some kind and I respect and like each one. 

Concerning church, the next step is to serve.  I want to contribute in some way.  I see this happening very soon.

*** God is good!  And He is always faithful to me. *** 

I'm thankful for His grace in my life